The title reflects not what I will do in this space, but rather what the esteemed hosts of this blog must do in light of Dan inviting me to guest blog. I admire the dedication to free speech and frank discussion, but I fully expect my stint will make Dan and Morgan question the wisdom of that policy.

Cynical as I am, I cannot help but think there is an ulterior motive to allowing my words an audience, and it might be this: In the cinematic masterpiece Trading Places, two wealthy individuals bet on whether a homeless man could be turned into a successful businessman. Similarly, my writing here is nothing but an experiment to see if a moderately intelligent and possibly unhinged man can contribute anything of value to a thoughtful blog simply by placing him in the company of others. The movie represented a perverse social experiment, and so too is the notion of my words being seen beyond the confines of the audience my ideas generate on their own. That usually consists of my childhood stuffed animals and GI Joes. (Whether the adjective “childhood” modifies only stuffed animals or is compound and thus meant to also modify GI Joes is a question I do not wish to answer.)

That my contributions to this blog will amount to nothing but debasement is proven by the terrible attempt at humor in this post’s title and a reference to Trading Places in my very first post. I apologize for singlehandedly lowering the level of discourse, but in light of Tim’s post, I urge you to judge my work with an eye towards what I am capable of performing. Those who know me well will confirm that the mere act of typing coherent thoughts is a victory. Whether I will reach that modest level of achievement remains to be seen. I hope I do not disappoint; my GI Joes are quite tired of my arguments by now.

In all seriousness, I appreciate the opportunity to contribute. I have been neglecting my leisure reading in general and I have intended to resume blogging for some time now. Hopefully I will be inspired to resume both my light-hearted blog as well as my “mature” one.

-Cory Schuster